I haven't been sleeping well recently. About a week ago, I was in my bed introspecting myself because of insomnia, and decided to write something in Evernote everyday. However, this is not what I'm gonna talk today.
I had some strange dreams these days. Here are two of them:
Dec 13
In this dream, I was in a small town, which can be traversed on foot. I encountered the old friend whom I love, and we decided to meet somewhere later on. Then I was at home, but not the one in reality. My gums bled when I was brushing my teeth. I tried to stop bleeding using tissue paper but it didn't work. Then I asked my grandma to help me. During the period, I calculated as follows: the blood speed was about 1ml/s, and 1200ml blood in 20 minutes. I might not survive that long. Then I fainted and waked up.
Dec 14
I guess it happened in my hometown. I was hanging out around the street with one of my classmates. We met serveral relatives of mine. Some told me that one of my family members had passed away. But my family didn't tell me according to his will. Then I was in a religious place. I was crawling, down to the bottom of the building, following the signs on the road, and reached a place named HUMAN. It was so narrow that I could not stand up. I had to knelt down, crying, and whispering to myself with prayers.
I died and my family member died in these two dreams.
A few days ago, there was something wrong with me. I didn't feel good but the test result turned out to be OK. My friend and I also discussed the problem of life and death. We concluded that death is not horrible, however we have many excueses not to die. Later on, I wrote something in my computer, and gave my password to someone I trusted.
After these two dreams, I finally realized that losing someone you love really hurts. And I began to think over what home means to me. I have to say that home was and will be the most factor when making choices over the past 20 years and in the future.
The meaning of home has been changing since I entered college. I once thought it might refer to the apartment where I lived in. But now I believe that home is some people who I concerned and I am concerned by.
But who knows what home will be after years?